Soaring


    I stare longingly at the reflection cast in my drink. An open sky, with an endless expanse. Steam rises off the coffee, mixing with the clouds, soaring into the heavens. Freedom. Escape. Things I so long for.

    A voice drones on quietly around me. I understand the words, but only peripherally acknowledge them. I am lost in my own world. A world of running and jumping, of seeing and exploring. Briefly I escape.

    "So, what do you think?" is the question posed in my general direction. My mouth moves and forms words, reacting without thought. I want to scream, but instead I answer.

    I don't think about it, but I know the answer is correct. My eyes come back into focus looking for acknowledgement of the response, not that it matters. As I gain focus, I see the chain attached to my leg and the bolts through my hands, keeping me securely attached to the table. I try to draw in breath, but I fail, feeling closed in and surrounded by the drudgery that has become my life. Suffocating at an outdoor cafe, it feels strange and surreal, yet it is all too true.

    Eyes move, head nods, and the drone begins again. More information, more change, yet everything is the same. I still want freedom, escape, hope. Yet none of them come, so I blur my vision and dream again.

    Wind caresses my skin as I soar into the air. Clouds dance around me leaving me cool and damp as I burst through them, seeking the endless expanse that exists beyond. As the clouds trail behind, my skin heats up, absorbing and embracing the warmth of the sun above. I'm free, I can breath, I can live. My mind opens to the world around me and I soar.

    Higher.

    And higher.

    I see the world below me, so full of chaos and confusion, yet ordered and locked down. Sectioned and catalogued, it sits there knowing the hold it has over me. I see the blue start to break to black. I'm almost free, almost gone. Then I hear it.

    The irregular low beat rings in my ears. It's tempo quickens, and it's pitch rises. I again remember who I am, what I am, and I begin to fall.

    My heart leaps through my throat and out into the heavens. It's ok, it's not needed anymore. No machine needs such a silly thing.

    The beat continues, until it becomes white noise, background static. It's pitch is the part that's a problem though. As it rises, I know what my duty is. As it rises, I fall.

    Faster and faster I plummet. I see the clouds and pass through them. I see the chaos of land mass, and the blemishes of humanity upon it. The blemishes become more clear, more structured... more human.

    As I close in. I see a grid work and boxes. Cubes and rectangles. Illusion of chaos wrapped in order. My stomach turns over. I look upwards once more, my hands clawing for some hold that doesn't exist. A last ditch effort to remain free, and then my legs tense. Once again I am locked to the earth, in a chair, wishing for death.

    Then the question comes...