The Perfect Moment


    Leaves rustle in the light breeze, temporarily blocking the sun. The shade is cool and relaxing, a nice contrast to the harsh sun.

    I stare up into the bright blue sky, past the shades of green and brown. The world fades away, all of its worries and pains melt into the ground around me. For now, there is only the moment. Temporarily I am happy. I am calm.

    The air is warm and filled with scents of life. I wish the moment would last. It feels perfect. Next to me there is another. Someone I care for, someone I long for. I know there is nothing between us. Mentally it all makes sense. Once friends, then a mistake, and then no longer friends, but emotionally it means nothing. I hear he breathing and occasional sighs, as she revels in the sun. My heart jumps and my minds switches off. When she is around the world disappears and I am happy. Unfortunately the world is always waiting for me to return.

    Life is often filled with pain and depression, confusion and annoyance, but every now and then there seems to be a pocket of relaxation and perfection. I know it can't last, but for the moment, I don't care.

    An ant crawls slowly across my arm on it's way to the grass on the other side. It's tiny claws tickle my skin. I blow at the ant and it is returned to the grass.

    She speaks. Small talk and observations of the moment. I forget about our past and listen. Her voice is soft and gentle as drifts between the conscious and unconscious. She is both soft and strong, I want to protect her from harshness of the world, but I know that's not possible. Instead I smile and stare back in to the expanse of the sky above.

    It's been a long day and she's exhausted. Me, I'm simply trying to enjoy the moment and relax. It's impending end nags at me, trying to draw me away from my bliss. I know that after today, I'll probably never see her again. A dark depression starts to grow, but I push it to the side. I don't want the moment to be ruined.

    Several birds fly overhead. It's a beautiful sight. Their wings move with such fluidity. I hope someday to be able to move with out care, to move on only instinct and to do so well at it. In moments, they are out of sight, and I am returned to my surroundings.

    I rest my head on the root of the tree I'm laying under, and stare up the trunk. The pattern of the bark catches my eyes. Paths and crevices, some lead to others, and some don't. The criss crossing patterns seem to dance on forever. One set of lines catches my attention. Two lines, strong, stable lines shoot up the side of the tree, only to intersect a quarter of the way up. In the intersection, they dance around each other, touching and separating dozens of times, and then they run parallel for a few inches before shooting apart, no longer the same lines. Each of them is distinctly different. My heart drops and I force my eyes shut.

    The darkness surrounds me, but my senses still soar. The sun still beats down, and the air still runs warm. Unsuccessfully I try and block it all out. I know she is near, and that we are also worlds apart. I try and tell myself this is only temporary, that it's all almost over. Soon I'll never see her again, I'll never have to think about how she makes the world disappear, but it doesn't help. It never helps. Rationalizing emotions never seems to help. My mind drifts back. For the first time in years, centuries, millennia, I have a regret. I regret ever telling her how I felt, I regret allowing that night to happen, I regret losing a friend, I regret the path I've currently chosen.

    She turns and looks at me. I see her in the corner of my eye, and I turn and smile back. For the moment, none of it matters. For now there is only the moment. For now, everything is perfect.